FINAL NARRATIVE.

The best thing that has ever happened to me while on vacation.

Please listen to this before reading. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c251SagDUqpeQJdxFeSMiSu0VvS4sbzP/view?usp=sharing

My story is about the best thing that has happened to me on a holiday, however, I felt it would only properly suffice if I fed it with a bit of backstory on why it was so significant. As I said in an earlier prompt, 2018 was a heavy year for me: emotionally, physically, academically and mentally. For the most part, I’d like to think that what was going on was some form of pre-mid-life crisis? (Lol). Well, certainly a crisis. If I was to correctly articulate my feelings within those few months, I would say that my mind was in a state of panic. I was constantly uncomfortable with my surroundings, with myself and with my life for reasons by that time, unknown to me.

     I took to, rather unorthodox methods, I’d have to say. (Now it is important to note that my school did not have any counselling or peer counselling facilities, and being a boarding school, we also had little to no contact with the outside world.) Acting very impulsive and due to emotional bias, I completely shut myself out of my surroundings and simply refused to acknowledge them. I made it a mission to remove myself from there. And I tried a lot! It started from a safe point where I was only looking for scholarships at the computer lab whenever we had the opportunity, but then became a danger to myself, once I started sabotaging my grades, not eating and now trying to look for any possible way to ‘escape’. Well, to cut this long set of events short, It raised the administration’s concern and my parents were called. Well, we agreed on some measures which did at least at face view improve the situation. But I was still in this constant state of unrest- my mind would take any opportunity it had to escape reality. What was worse, however, is that I now consistently had panic attacks and very strong pains (what felt like muscle contractions on steroids). My body was overwhelmed. I also had no idea what was going on, or what had triggered it, no outlets and no one to consult. I was in a severe state of sadness.

But the situation brightens. We went on a midterm break and after communicating with my parents, we opted for counselling. I had my first few daily sessions which were so significant because, after a long time, I felt a big breath of fresh air, just by finally being able to talk about what I was feeling. I continued with therapy for the rest of the year,  whenever I was home I would maximize on the time: some days were better than others, but things generally improved. At least now I was aware of myself and was able to self regulate. She taught me a number of skills like always speaking kindly to and of myself, journaling and exercise. These are things that I still very actively participate in today and gradually became a lifestyle. It was only until later that I was diagnosed with an acute anxiety disorder, which, although frightening, gave me peace as it checked out a lot of boxes for me and alerted me to be more forgiving of myself. I received ample psychological and psychiatric support and I can confirm that everything now is better than it has ever been. I am my best self; in an upwards scale.

So yes. This holiday. A tropical experience in Dar es Salaam, which, besides being one of favorite aesthetics, was symbolic to show peace, rest and triumph. I love the water and I connect water to peace. ‘Par Kwe’ as we say in my native language, which means a place of peace. I remember walking through the shores and swimming in the pool and a voice in my head would whisper, “It is over now. All is well.” This was a beautiful end to a tedious year, although I was thankful for it, because of the following reasons: It started my passion for fitness and wellness in all dimensions; it alerted me to begin a journey of self-discovery and love, which has now matured beautifully; it was a period where I gained life-long friends. Very genuine and compassionate people who I started a system of accountability with and developed TRIPLE R (rescue, return and revolve) a project that functioned as a peer counselling group within the school, whose function was to ‘rescue’ students from whatever situation they were struggling, ‘return’ to a place where they could safely combat the problem with an actively supportive and loving environment, and revolve them around this support group with a range of activities, active dialogue and prayer. The final significance is that it tremendously strengthened my relationship with my family and God. So yes, there was a silver lining after all.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Water Glasses

Recently i was watching re-runs of ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’. In this episode Will [Will Smith] had just enrolled into uni and was having some trouble picking out his classes. So Carlton[Alfonso Ribeiro], ( his usual know-all show-all self) picks out a few classes for him. So in this way Will finds himself in a Western Philosophy class that, despite constant internal denial, he actually happens to connect a lot with. Now because Will has throughout the entire sitcom been brought out to be a lazy an often chronic procrastinator, (among other give or take undesirable qualities) it’s very natural that he finds this class difficult. And so he drops out! Later on ge realises that the class was actually very meaningful and after having a discussion with his uncle Phil [James Avery] about professors who make an impact on people, he also realises that his professor was actually a pretty good one, who held stimulating discussions.

So Fresh Prince has for a long time been a personal fav. Their execution of actual occurences was actually very….fresh.(lol)

But anyway but anyway. What really had me in depthful thinking on this episode was a question the professor poses to the class towards the end of the episode

“Today’s topic of conversation is this glass. Is it A-half empty or B-half full?”

There’s an entire philosophical theory about this that’s taken years of discussion. (No I’m not going to take you through that ain’t nobody got time for that *insert Laquisha Voice*.) But here’s what I think

Half full

There’s hope. That despite the fact there’s a lot of unexplainable witchcraft and unnecessary drama going on in your life, you can still wake up everysingle day, reassure yourself and do your shit. And you know the thing about optimism is that it creates opportunity. Pessimism kills it. So yes, there’s an absolute guarantee that it gets harder, and more tryers of your patience shall come forth everysingle day, trying to shake you. The work load will triple, your bills will accumulate, your grades will flactuate and the pressure will SKY ROCKET. Yet here you are, a warrior optimist, still re-assuring yourseof every single day, waking up, and doing your shit.

You know what the problem with this theory is? You’ll end up dead. *tilts dramatically* Human is to overload, there’s only so much you can take before your body realizes that among the components of you (mind, body, soul) is one moving a lot faster than the others. So no i don’t think the glass is half-full.

Half Empty

So I’m as we speaking braiding my hair. My salonist just made a twist on my hair that was insanely painful (No mercy some people smh) and I was literally fighting the urge to bitch slap and curse her out. But then you know being a pessimist or whatever, there’s a pretty high chance that normal difficulties will happen to you which in actuality happen to everyone. But then, possibly, you’re a solipsist, and you don’t recognize anybody else in the universe but yourself. For this reason you will believe that your pretty normal difficulty is so grand and overwhelming that you end up wallowing in self pity, get sick, cry too often. And unhealthy cycle basically. A very common one too, ironically. For very clear reasons, as a pessimist, you also, end up dead. But contrary to most peope’s opinions, you won’t die faster. Infact, every half empty and half full theorist in a similar environment are very likely to die at the same time. So no, I don’t think it’s half empty either.

Here’s what I think.

How not to die

I think that you have water( or juice or whatever fluid you fancy). And moreso, you have to contain it in. That yes, it’s possible that it may not be as much water as you want(pessimist), but then how much time are you going to spend trying to fill it when it’s shit clear the water’s not enough?(optimist) I think that it doesn’t matter whether your glass is half-empty or half -full. A lot of people tend to focus so much on what they expect or how much they feel they deserve that they don’t see what’s already infront of them- and that’s a pretty decent starting ground.

So your glass isn’t full, we can all mutually agree there. But what are you doing to fill it?

The Power of Gratitude. That’s what this is about.

Ly for reading❤

THE WAY OF THE FRO.

You know when I first heard of Chimamanda i think it was on that sample of her ‘We should all be feminists’ speech on TED talk from Beyoncé’s flawless. (You know, that speaking part?) Then again, at the time, I didn’t even know it was a sample, let alone what TED talk was. But that was anyway both years ago and besides the point. ( I think it is an established culture for me now. All my intros, they’re ALWAYS besides the point. Irrelevance is still among my greatest weaknesses. But I embrace it✨.)

So this was my first encounter with Chimamanda. Years later I think is when I first came to discover her books; having completed 2 of her novels and I think two other short pieces. ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’ and ‘Americanah’. The latter was probably more my style though. Really had me on the edge. Now you know me, I’m an AVID reader. I like to juice the content out of my books. All that good stuff, I keep it with me and walk around with it.(Not literally ofcourse lol). I live and practice these stories. But then again you might be one of these flip/scroll-through-page kinda people. You know, quickly note the characters and a few of their memorable scenes maybe and later in a group discussion, you’re the “OH MY GOD COULD YOU BELIEVE THAT ENDING!??! INSANE! kwanza when nani died? I COULDN’T!” If you’re these people, my guy, i have a light with me that I would love for you to see. (Don’t get me wrong though. I as well have had my moments.- For instance,who was going to read all those pages of Chasing Red? I certainly did not have the time nor interest. [My opinion, not controversial at all])

I’m passionate in my reading. Not often, but passionate. And Americanah? Just some kind of the content I happen to strongly enjoy. A sweet story really. Its not the usual boy meets girl, girl js torn between 2 love interests, girl ends up with boy and or dead. [Insert a few sci-fi detective commons] It’s that, AND MORE! (Minus the sci-fi. Not a fan sorry). Highschool sweethearts in late 20th Century Nigeria separated by circumstances of finance and education, end up in 2 different continents with different aspirations, encountering not so different trials and obstacles. A keen, yet subtle insight on racism, feminism, and all the now stuff. Very depthful. (is that a word? Do I care?) I definitely recommend. However what really caught my eye wasn’t even the story. It was this tutorial on afro managing. ( Ifemelu [the female book character] had a community blog for Africans living overseas where they discussed ’embracing your ethnicity’ among other related things. Mostly focused on beauty and all of that. Hair and dressing. Imagine a situation where you go into a salon and be told they don’t do YOUR kind of hair. And you know how there’s products for ‘all hair types’. Well all in this case would mean blonde, hazelnut, red, brunette etc. In those lines. You know you’d think ah si I just put some steady locks or braids and I’m good to go? Dreadlocks are certainly an option, but certainly shouldn’t be the only one. Not to mention the established grounds on stereotypes (I’m referring to that Giuliana story with Zendaya).

So Ifemelu, besides encouraging other women to drop the synthetics and relaxers, gave a step-by-step tutorial on everyday afro management. THIS LITERALLY WARMED MY HEART! Personally I’m all about the fro. Getting it set right and maintaining it, now thaat’s where the problem comes in. I tried hers and truss me girl when I tell you the results were pleasing.

Now i don’t know how possible it’ll be to maintain this look in an overseas country, but I’ll take her word for it. ( I’ll trust that it wasn’t all fictionated and had some research behind it.) I’m looking to be in Italy soon. (A bit anxious to know if all these lessons pulled through. E
Mi piace pensare che sto facendo un buon lavoro. If you’re looking into abroad education/ work/ living or whatever. Let’s find each other and talk authenticity.

Attached to this is a few stepped ways to get various fro looks from my friends. Also a couple of tips on hair growth, strength and care that I picked up along the way. How do you manage yours? ( As I like to say over here quality learning takes place. So feel free to let me know. )

And as i part, next I shall be talking about MEN WHO JUST THINK THEY CAN WALK UP TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREETS YET IT IS PRETTY DANG CLEAR THAT THEY ARE 72 TIMES YOUR AGE!!(This is me yelling and not the actual title. Very sensitive issue.) So in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love, and FROllow your dreams.(haha)

Of Awareness Month, Riverdale And Lots of other junk.

Wasgooooooddd readeerr✨- Now we have had this one-way conversation twice before. And I have finally decided, all this fuss about keeping a formal profile and booling the extra, psht reader I am not even 18 yet so stop your stressin! I’mma just, fly with the wind from now on, yeah?

Now, that we’ve got that out of the way.(insert a comic mischievous smile here, I know I’m letting loose and all, but with the emoticons, let’s just work our way there-baby steps man, baby steps).  So this is actually not a new post, well not exactly. This more of an ad. Now before you scroll through or tap the back option (relaaaxx man aii) just proceed and listen.(Well, read.

Okay so its  November! This is might I say the most special month of the year for me.( No its not my birth Month). What goes down in November, you might ask? Well itsssss * cue drum roll* Epilepsy Awareness Month! So before I tell you about Epilepsy awareness allow me lay down a couple basics . 

So first of all Epilepsy isn’t jerking or convulsions, okay? All that shit you see on tv is far too extra. Its abnormal electrical activity in the brain resulting in a seizure. Now a seizure, is not those mafoam things you once again saw on tv (gosh, the entertainment business!) well, not always. A seizure, is a sudden surge of electrical activity in the brain, that usually affects how a person appears or acts for a short time. So many different things can occur during a seizure, and their nature, varies because (bout to hit you with some strong biology so get ready…) the lobes of the brain control different movements behaviors and experiences. (Lol it wasn’t that strong, but If you saw my bio grades man, you wouldn’t even judge me. Now I KNOW a couple brothers out here can relate!) Okay so aaaall that junk i said up there, if you’re still lost, just know, seizures, yeah they suck! Moving on Swiftly.(comically smiles here too.)
So there’s this project, started with the aim of spreading epilepsy awareness. It’s called Chronically Beautiful. Now the estimation for people living with epilepsy in Kenya is about 800,000 people and outside Kenya, every four minutes someone  out there is diagnosed with epilepsy, crazy yeah? It’s about time, we stop the ignorance and stigmatization- that shit gotta go! So join me and my friends in spreading awareness on epilepsy. Now before you think anything or hit towards that back button again, you don’t have to do so much! I’m not asking you to write an essay or make posters or anything. All you could do is to post something, wearing purple, (because purple epilepsy awareness color) and tag it Epilepsy Awareness. That’s all! I know it seems like a lot of work but trust me it goes a long way. You know if you could post about the current political state in Kenya then you could sure as hell post about this. But no pressure yah?
In Kenya there is The Epilepsy Coordination Committee, whose aim is to spread awareness. If you want to learn more about epilepsy you can go to their site. The link is as below.(or beside I don’t know.)- http://www.epilepsykenya.com Now I expected that to turn blue, but since it didn’t and I am too lazy to go all the way there, scroll, copy the link , come back, and paste it here, you just got type it in mkay? *This part is an edit, I like to go re-read my posts from gram just to make sure the links are working and to fix any typos I may have over looked. So it actually did turn blue, yay! Less work for both of us. So you can go ahead and unread that last part over there.(lol)*
So that was all, I hope I haven’t talked too much (I’m working on this I promise). In other news, I’m seeing people out here posting weekly (like I’m in a bloggers group bro, it sucks how active it is). Akina Michelle Abiero And Trevor Chalan and all these people constantly posting and I’m just here sipping on some tea watching Riverdale. Smh. Well anyways, I apologize for the massive gaps between my posts (like you care lol) and just might drop a post real soon. Now if you know me I’m not one to compose some hard hitting philosophical gold on current happenings, so whatever I do post, I can promise you, no politics, not ever. 
I should get off my bed now. Housewives is on. Until we speak(one-way) again reader! Stay safe yah?
PS. This isn’t my usual style of writing, so if you’re wondering what my actual work looks like, I have two other posts up here, (or down there, depending on how you accessed this.) You just might like them.✨
Okay I’m done fr now. I love you for reading(a little Wendy Williams Stunt For You) Peace✨.

Of Swimming Funkies And Music Festivals

To be completely honest i have never really known how to start these things. A simple, “greetings reader,” would suffice, but i don’t know there is always that urge to be all “Ah, reader my good man, how’s it going? or even ” Aye waspoppiinn reader” ” But anyway, no, this is not a post about how to start a post. To be completely honest i am not completely sure what this is about yet. Let’s just, see where the wind takes us.

Funfacts! The first part of this, right above you was written in December. Now knowing myself I am by far among the laziest people you’ll come to meet in your life.- I kid you not, it doesn’t get anymore serious than this. Second, I was perusing through my phone(I lost the laptop, sad story don’t ask) and I see new posts by guys and im like “weh, si people are doing well for themselves.” That my good reader is when I looked at the sad truths of my current life and was like ” Brother man, look alive!”

Well that was two paragraphs of nothing😊 (I know I just used an emoticon on a post by all means shoot me.) I shall now take a few minutes to search my brain for any matters of relevance. ( Feel free to shift your sitting position a lil’, get a snack if you can, text a friend you know whatever floats your boat.)

     *Insert commercial break elevator music*

Aha! So my good people, it has just hit me that I had promised a post on funkies, and now would prooobably be a good time to do that.  Now when it comes to funkies, I’m your guy. First week in highschool I joined  the school swim team. Now me originally I was in it just to skive cross countries -because brother, if you’ve seen pictures of me about, you should be able to tell I’m not a runner. But then, somewhere in between we started having galas and you know its the glamour that hits you. Now I have gone for my fair share of galas, and fast forwarding to music festivals which happen in second term, I can tell you a thing or two about the differences between a swimming funkie and Music festivals funkie:

1. Now this is the first thing that hit me. You go for swimming funkies the schools you see around are Brookhouse, Hillcrest, GEMS Cambridge, you know these schools with holding. Now me being from Boma, go to these types of funkies my friend that’s when you know that those 100 laps that the coach makes you do during training in school are absolutely nothing. As in, brother man, have you ever seen someone cut across water so elegantly, their feet moving like a bloody jetski and you you’re there ati you want to race with them? Ati you want to race with Haddassah Mumbi, or Katanu Kimanzi? Me let me just tell you that’s where I start whispering “Mommy I wanna go home😢”in my head.
2. Anyway that’s swimming. Now looking over at this other side, the music festival funkie, let me tell you how things go down. So this time the schools attending are Starehe, Sunshine, Lenana, Nairobi School, PB, which were also there for swimming, but now you see the environment kinda shades you so you barely even notice their presence. Now si ati its just those ones! Schools with names I can’t pronounce I tell you they flood the vicinity! A good example are my good friends from Ofafa Jericho  and the likes.( no offence meant here I give the school full respect). Now you see how in swimming those people are in it for the win? Here let me tell you half the schools don’t even know what they came to do. No actually, they do know: they came to vibe, eat what they don’t have in school, then vibe some more. One time I was talking to this boy from sunshine (nice lad, very good English) and he asked me what position our choral verse was. So we were second, out of a possible eighteen. I tell you the boy looked at me like some kind of goddess asking “are you serious?” I’m like that was the plan wasn’t it? Only to hear that the brother’s choral was actually the eighteenth in the same category😂. I’m telling you if you see the way these people go back to school rejoicing, shirts off and howling, you’d think they won a gold cup or something. 
3. Haya now down to the characters. Look around in a swimming funkie you’ll see all types of races, you know a rainbow nation typa thing. My eye particularly catches the boy who looks of Jewish decent, with some hair over there you’d just wonder. And the accent on the brother! Pass out if you shall. Now I shall not go into vivid description, for reasons best known to myself😂. Now imagine a full breed of those, prancing around winning medals like they’re those masweets you were giving in primary for answering questions. And then now go back to the music festivals vicinity and look at my brother from a school who’s name I can’t pronounce. Now look at this one very carefully you’ll see some peculiar mannerisms. Brother is wearing some pink socks over there, a sweater that looks like it just has a collar cleverly sewn onto it as in he’s not even wearing a shirt inside😂. Boy’s staggering about looking like a bloody injured cricket and you you’re just there praying to the good Lord that he doesn’t approach you. But he does!😂 You close your eyes really tight begging the ground to swallow one of you ama he moves on to the next girl then you hear, ” Sssss-s-sema Msupa! Naskia nyi madem wa bboma hubonga NnnnnnnnGoso solo!” Blood of Nebuchadnezzar what’d he just say?😂 Now you see your current situation you start giving excuses of how you have to go perform then you hear “performances ziliiisha kkkiTambo Sana.“  At this point me you just shoot me, as in literally pull out a gun and go to town with my skull.🙇 Anyway fast forward thank the good Lord you make it out of that situation alive!
4. Now this last one is now back in school, in the mails-sticky note department. (Ah, every girl’s favorite.) Now you see what ive noticed about a mail from let’s say sunshine, is that first of all it’s a mail, as in a real one: you know written on some nice writing pad over there in an envelope and everything. The envelope itself has some lit chaligraphy and the boy’s English, its usually good, like real good. Now my good brother from the school who’s name I can’t pronounce, will deliver to you a paper torn not even from the middle page of a book, as in you couldn’t even give me that much respect, stapled like his life depended on it. ( This is a tipper, if youre reading this and you plan to write a mail sometime soon, take it from me, go slow on the staple pins.) Now inside this thing you’d think is some top secret gold information, you open it and Bob’s your uncle, about 4 to 5 paragraphs of absolute gibberish, as in I’m pretty sure some of the short forms these people use aren’t even legal. And somebody please tell me why it is easier to use an x on a word rather than an S? Is it shorter I don’t think so! Why mutate poor words? Honestly? At the end of this mail after you’ve sat down and summoned all the understand in the world to fall upon you plus you girls to come and read this thing, you end up with a headache. As in at this point you just go to sleep and recollect your life. Leave your girls to chambua that thing like a ‘Tumbo Lisiloshiba’ or a ‘Kidagaa Kimemwozea’ if they shall. You you’re tired. All that reading drained your energy.
5. Now, that I have failed to see how to remove the numbering thing from this, I’ll just conclude from here. Now I don’t know if I have related to any of your funkie experiences, or if these are just a bunch of conjugations to you, but all I’d say is, second term is fast approaching and for my good sisters out there I have the following words for you:
   

Peace.